Mother's Grave
by NiyaYoru
Summary: I had followed him up here... He looked like he fell from the ground and up to the sky..."


**Mother's Grave**

I had followed him up here.

Here, where the sun shone with a calming gentleness most humans couldn't provide. This meadow, though with a melancholy touch, was soothing. Exactly like the place I visited whenever I was in Central.

The grass under his feet slowly lost its colour. Autumn was near, you could smell it in the air.

Every step of his seemed to be hesitating. As if he was unsure if it was in his right to be here.

He probably was.

A single lily trembled slightly in his metal grasp. It was her favourite flower, he once told me. Not that he had wanted to. It had been just mere coincidence. During one of our many arguments he had blurted it out.

I intended to smile at the memory but my lips didn't lift.

I looked up when he was past the first ivory stone. They kept him company with their silent presence.

Blond hair hid dulled golden eyes, like protecting him from the view of an invisible intruder.

Edward had always been on the edge. A knife's edge.

Either he broke down under the pressure he himself had taken upon his hunched shoulders or he lost everything, not able to separate the world his guilt had created long ago and reality which wasn't all that better.

But still, the boy had a chance to move forward, accepting his mistakes as cruel lessons life had given him. Just coming to terms was all it took because either side of the knife only led to destruction. Though this was the hardest part of any lesson: living with the results.

Edward stopped in front of one of the many white gravestones.  
Leaning deeper into the tree, I watched out of the corners of my eyes the sun touching horizon.

"I'm sorry, mother." The whispered words seemed loud in this environment.  
I guessed it wasn't the first time he had spoken them.

Head bowed the boy kneeled down to brush the marble with his human hand. The shaking didn't stop when he laid the flower on the stone plate.

"I'm sorry", he murmured again.  
The tears hadn't come yet. I briefly wondered if he had left any to shed.

Time passed without notice. The last rays glanced above the border between earth and an artistic play of oranges, reds, purples and dark blues.

I didn't dare to let out the sigh that so steadily built up in my throat. I didn't dare to do anything except leaning into the old tree, hoping for support to be able to help the older Elric brother with all my might. And I prayed that I wasn't the intruder I felt like.

My head spun, grasped for any reason why I came here in the first place. To provide everything he needs, my consciousness replied, even if he's not aware of it.

When I raised my gaze I saw, in my mind's eye, Edward falling from the ground and up to the sky. Not the other way around. He wasn't an angel, if those creatures existed.  
He was just a boy with old eyes, had seen too much at such a young age.

"I hope you can forgive me." I was surprised, didn't think he would speak anymore.

"I was wrong. Forgive me, mother." His lips parted slightly with every word. "It was just too soon. We weren't ready for you to leave." He paused for a moment, considering his monologue.

"I was selfish back then." He chuckled cynically. "Al couldn't stop me. It didn't matter what he said. No one could have stopped me then." The chuckle turned into a choked and dry sob. "And now everything matters what he says."

The feeling to go to him got nearly overwhelming. I ignored it.

"Forgive me, mother, for taking your child from you. Forgive me for binding his soul to the unfeeling armour he was so afraid of when we were little." His hands slowly crushed and ripped grass from the ground. It was an unconscious act.

"Forgive me, mother, for trying to resurrect you, for turning your body into…" His words broke and heaved for breath. Wind came up and brushed hair almost gently out of wide golden orbs that stared at nothing but memories. "For turning you into this… this…" His gaze was wild and terrified. Tears ran freely down his cheeks. He had some left after all. My eyes wandered for a moment and settled on him again. It was hard to look at him.

"Forgive me, mother", Edward said through clenched teeth. "I told Al you weren't human…" He choked on the salty water. The taste must have been nauseating.

"Forgive me…" The tone pitched. "…please."

Suddenly the blond boy clapped his hands.  
"Please." He spoke louder, despair shining through clearly.

I started and was going to run to him but the following action and his voice that sounded too young even for him froze me to the spot.

The blue alchemic light shone bright and intense for a moment. Marble crept up and around the lily. He had transmuted the flower to be part of the elegant but simple stone, made it eternal.

Edward kissed the index finger of his human hand and pressed it against the engraved name of Trisha Elric. The ghost of a smile touched his features.

"Forgive me, mother, for I have sinned so many times…"

The words rang in my ears for hours afterwards. The helplessness, the broken emptiness in them lay like lead in my stomach.

The golden haired boy got up and his knees shook visibly. His metal hand wiped the last stray tears away in a hectic movement.

He passed the tree I was standing behind and didn't stop when he said "Thank you, Colonel."

Edward Elric left the graveyard without looking back while I sank to the ground.


End file.
